Member Profile: Frank Lundeen


Hello everyone! Ben here again (you can tell because that's MY thumbnail to the left), and today it's my task to introduce you all to Frank Lundeen. However, if you have been even peripherally involved in the ski, bike, and run industry in the midwest over the last ten years or so, I don't know how you could have not crossed paths with Frank Lundeen.

First of all, Frank Lundeen is ETERNAL, the guy wasn't BORN, he frickin' leapt from the earth clutching a carbon fiber bike frame in one hand and holding a pair of hard flex XC skis in the other. Around his neck was a ring of pure fluro race wax...he wasn't wearing any clothes!

The above picture is from when Frank came down to Peru to build the city of Cusco. When he was finished, he stood upon a pedestal seven miles wide and surveyed his handiwork and called it good. Had he not thought it good, he would have called down a rain of fire and sulpher from the heavens...but Frank never builds anything that isn't good so he rarely has had the need to destroy any of his works (I'm not saying "never" since Frank is all-powerful and he has the ability to perform even self-contradictory acts should the need arise...that's what Omnipotent means).

But in all seriousness, you only need to know Frank for about five minutes and you put him on a pedestal. He's one of those people you inherently trust (not like me...shesh, I can't even get people to let me hold their groceries while they're looking for their keys, of course, the minute I get those grocieries I go sprinting off into the wilderness so maybe that's got something to do with it...not that I'm complaining...).

Let me tell you about Frank. One day, after having gotten lost on a trail run (not that Frank ever gets lost except for when it serves the mysterious functionality of the universe he created, and is therefore part of his master plan...see the note about contradictory acts that I mentioned earlier) Frank mistakenly ran for something like 3 hours. Realizing that he had now done the appropriate training for a marathon, he promptly signed up for the inagural Whistlestop race up in Ashland. Thinking this whole thing sounded like an impending disaster, I came along for the ride.

After passing the night in a hotel that we shared with a crazed gnome (I'm not even going to get into that story), Frank sprung from bed, directly into his running shoes and sprinted out the door to the nearby Country Kitchen.

Hurrying to catch up, I arrived simultaneously with Frank's "Belly Buster" breakfast which he felt was a good choice to start off a day of hard running. The breakfast consisted of five or six pieces of toast soaked in butter, six or seven sausage links, seven or eight pieces of French Toast, eight or nine scrambled eggs, and an infinite pile of hashbrowns. Along with a large glass of orange juice, Frank also polished off a cinamon roll if I'm not mistaken.

Well, I took him to the start of the race, and then drove down the trail to wait for his arrival fully expecting to see his fine white racing singlet soilet with the expelled mass of that horrific breakfast concoction.

Obviously I was wrong, and true to his training, Frank finished his first marathon in something like 3 hours (slowed only because he had to wade through a swamp and engage in a death struggle with seven or twelve medieval giant serpents..otherwise he was on pace for like a 1:12).

So that's Frank...plus, he kind of looks like Clint Eastwood. I mean, come on you guys see it too right? I'm not the only one!


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