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The Benefits of Training with Beer!

One of the major things that's gone unexplored in our racing/fitness society is the advantage of training with beer! Now, I'm sure all of you have already started laughing, but the fact is beer is great training food! Just think about it, you're in the middle of a difficult marathon, it's hot, you're hungry, your body is sore. You drink a little bit of gatorade and it's just too darn sweet, plus it doesn't do anything for the pain. So you take a couple hits of Ibuprofen (as if THAT'S a completely safe way to self-medicate), and then you settle in the 20 or so plus minutes to start feeling an effect. In the meantime, you start to bonk from the lack of carbs.

Enough of all that, that's completely ridiculous.

Seriously folks, just drink a beer!

The last two times I've done Grandma's marathon, I've had a beer at mile 20 or so. The first year I was given a beer by some smart ass college kid who didn't think I was going to drink it (foolish fratboy...of COURSE I'm going to drink it...sheesh...what are they teaching at college these days). Last year, I think I stole the beer that some lady was offering to somebody else (Ok, I guess it's not "I think" I stole's a good solid I STOLE see she was offering it to this other woman who was kind of hesitating so I said, "I'll take it!" and I grabbed it and...well, you get the idea).

Anyway, when you're drinking a beer in a marathon or half-marathon, a lot of people start to get on your case. You're the absolute HERO of all the spectators of course, but the people running with you are like, "hey...that's no fair" or other similiar asinine crap that can fairly easilly be translated as, " come YOU have a beer and I don't have one!"

I suppose doctors would tell you that it's a bad idea to run a marathon while drinking beer (and then they'd send you a bill for $150, so I recommend just not talking to those people because you gotta think...just whom does it really serve to keep you alive and thus capable of paying medical bills...conspiracy? I think so).

If you need proof that drinking a beer is good for you while running a marathon, just reference the above picture. Look at me on the left, smiling, happy, holding a beer. Look at the guy on the right, he's destroyed, miserable, grimacing, holding no beer, and on top of everything else, he's a good five steps behind me.

There you have it...definitive proof...Beer makes marathoning better.

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1 comment:

  1. You may be too young to remember, but adding beer to her training routine was significant in the 1988 Olumpics (held in Calgary) made famous by Wisoconsin's own speedskater, Mary Doctor. Unfortunately it did not help her win a gold medal, but she certainly seemed to enjoy herself.