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How to Optimize your Bathroom Line Time at Big Races


There you have it, the joy of joys. I'm sure every single one of you has your own pre-race routine, and I'm willing to bet hard cash that at some point, your pre-race ritual involves a lot of standing in line, shifting from foot to foot, and waiting for the guy in front of you to flip that little latch in the port-a-pot so that you can sprint forward and take care of business (you also hope that the previous resident left you some toilet paper and the state of the unit fairly clean...a dashed hope in most cases).

Unggghhh....those port-a-pots are the worst.

Say you're standing in line at Grandma's marathon or something and you're just desperate to go because even though you got up to the starting area with about two hours until race time, there just doesn't ever seem to be enough time to get things done. I, for one, always wait to put on my race shoes until I'm actually at the starting area (you don't want to stand around waiting for the bus in your RACING shoes...it flattens the cushion before the race even starts and you're going to NEED that cushion).

So, if you're like me, when you get to the start you have to: 1. Hydrate 2. Pin on your race number 3. Lube up your feet with vaseline (you can NEVER put on too much vaseline by the way) 4. Lube up everything else (and I really do mean EVERYTHING) 5. Use the bathroom (twice if you're lucky) 5. Try to eat something. 6. Stretch. 7. Don't forget the sunblock (which I inevitably and regretfully DO forget...probably because I put it LAST on my priority list).

That's a lot to do, but let me give you this one little piece of advice:

Make getting in the port-a-pot line your NUMBER 1 PRIORITY when you arrive at the starting area.

WHY?

The answer is obvious, but you've probably never thought about it before now because it often takes a GENIUS like myself to point out the completely obvious.

Why should getting into the port-a-pot line be your number 1 priority upon your arrival to the starting area?

Because you can do just about everything else on your "to do" list WHILE STANDING IN LINE!

Perhaps this is obvious to those of you who are veterans, however, in the heat of battle, it's always great ideas like this that are always left by the wayside and you're forced to stand there and watch your friend stretch for five minutes on the road because "he's just GOT to stretch" instead of sprinting from the bus or train or whatever straight to the bathroom line.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the BATHROOM LINE where you set up camp. Most people just assume you can't set up camp there because it's MOVING but you've got to think three dimensionally (that's how Kirk beat Kahn by the way). Most of what you've got to do, you CAN DO while shuffling slowly forward once every 10 to 15 minutes...DON'T WASTE THAT TIME!

Make the bathroom line your friend...keep saying that...keep saying that. That way the next time you go to a race, you'll head straight to the bathroom without even thinking about it and find yourself pleasantly ready like 45 minutes earlier (which should give you enough time for another round of waiting around for a bathroom...the Holy grail of race start time management).

Good luck!

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