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Honorary CyclovaXC Member: Tiger Woods


I just wanted to give a quick shout out to my boy Tiger Woods, he needs some good PR and we just had to put it in print that "WE'VE GOT YOUR BACK BUDDY!" I mean, most of the guys I know have a "man-crush" on the dude, but it's something we've put on the shelves because...let's face it, there was no way he was ever going to notice us.

However, although the press is coming after arguably America's greatest athlete ever (my money's still on this guy) it still should be noted that Tiger is super human and endowed with powers approaching absolute perfection. Consider that he wins 99.9% of the golf tournaments that he enters! Consider that he is recognized as an ideal specimen by 99.9% of the world's population of women and 74.3% of the men! Consider that he MANAGES TO REPEL 99.9% (and until a day ago, that number was a smooth C-Note) of these inappropriate advances!

You know what! To hell with it! Who is ANYBODY to be critical of Tiger Woods? Had I won even ONE major golf tournament, I'm sure I would have drunk myself to death within a half hour of getting the check...I would have been the golfer equivalent of William Henry Harrison (he's the US President who insisted on giving his inaugural address [one of the longest ever given] on a cold, wet day while not wearing a coat or hat [he wanted to demonstrate his virility], and subsequently died 32 days later [shortest time in office for a president] of pnemonia).

Maybe the stress just suddenly GOT to Tiger...maybe he was sick from the toils and travails of being his household's principal wage earner...maybe he just got done reading "Madame Bovary" by Gustav Flaubert, or "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin and thought to himself as he fought back the tears, "you know what, I'm sick of being the one tread upon...it's time to do something for me!"

Well, we've got your back buddy boy...you just keep swinging (er....), and you're welcome to come to our party at the Sawmill Saloon this weekend (although I suppose you'll have to rent a car or something?).

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