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NBC's Crappy Olympic Coverage is Really Starting to Irritate

I wrote this rant after NBC cut away from the women's 4X10 relay to show some idiot on a snow tube. As you can probably understand, that put me into an unreasonable rage. Sure, this might not be an exactly "fair" article, but it exists and it's NBC's fault that it exists, so I don't feel bad in publishing it (secretly I've been pleasantly surprised at how much XC has been on the TV this Olympics...but I'm still furious about that cut-away...and there's always room for improvement).

The one thing that you can depend on with the US coverage of the Olympics is that it's going to be crappy. Yet, every year I'm mind-bogglingly amazed at how utterly crappy it is. Although we've been getting plenty of XC coverage (usually at 2 in the morning...but whatever), it's generally interrupted by the trite, nonsensical rants of that idiot Al Michaels who sits there in the studio with his legs flapped wide open and a "service me" look on his bland, moronic face.

If it's not Al Michals, it's Bob Costas, or that utter moron from the NFL world Chris Collensworth who wants to compare every XC skier or figure skater to some NFL athlete ("Bjorn Daehlie is like the Tim Brown of skiing"...frickin' idiot, that means nothing!!!!!). Watching the Olympic coverage just indicates that the job of television sports announcer can be competently done by a lobotomized monkey with it's tongue and lips removed (it'd just sit there and grunt like a sex addict humping a doorknob...a better sound than the moronic dribble that comes out of these sportcasters' mouths).

They make me want to turn off the TV during the NFL they'll bring on the certifiably brain dead idiot Troy Aikman who who couldn't even write his own name in the snow even if Sandra Bullock was guiding the stream (the two were rumored to be together years ago...I know this because it's the kind of asinine garbage which is the only thing the US media ever reports).

Today in the midst of the 4X10 women's relay they inexplicably switched from the action to show some idiot journalist's little cutesy pie human interest story about going down a hill in an inner tube. What the Hell? Here are these athletes who have been training for fifteen years in pursuit of a medal in one of the most challenging sports in the world, and their moment in the sun is superseded by some trust fund whiny baby who wants to do a story featuring predominantly himself? When are these reporters going to learn that THEY'RE NOT THE STORY!!! THE OLYMPICS ARE!!! The less we see or hear of the commentators the better.

Hell, frankly they could just shut their commentary completely off because they never say anything useful. I was pulling my hair out as some idiot (accompanied by that moron from ESPN who used to call the Tour de France...Not Phil Ligget, he's good...that big blond idiot who was narrating the event when Bobby Julich finished third...moron) started explaining to us what kick wax was. Heck, if you don't know what THAT is, why the hell are you watching an XC race?

If this is the best that the "experts" can do to explain an event I actually know something about, it sheds a little bit of light at how competent they are (not at all) on the races I don't know anything about. Instead of starting at a lower than pre-school level, why don't they just assume you're experts and dive right in. Sure you may be lost 90% of the time, but at least you might learn something (or be inspired to go and learn it) and over time you'd get it sooner or later.

Oh yeah, the reason they don't do this is that the only brain dead idiots they get to blabber incessantly over the events (TRIPLE SOW COW...DOUBLE TOE LOOP....OH MY GOOOODDDDD!) don't know what the hell they are talking about and love themselves above all other things! I'd like to grab them all by the back of the head and rub their faces into the doggy mess and say "No, No" gently but firmly (especially that idiot Al I wrong, or didn't that guy get caught with a hooker not too long ago...and wasn't he biting her...and didn't she turn out to be a man? It's a rumor I heard...I don't know maybe I don't have my facts straight).

And quit spending 98.3 percent of the broadcasting time on the figure skating. Judged events aren't "sports," it's all about who crossed the line first (and Weir got robbed for being too....hmmmm, what's a good word here...let's just say flamboyant and leave it at that).

Are you hearing me NBC? Less Al and Chris and more of this:

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1 comment:

  1. Great rant. if i where you I would watch the olympics at and regular season world cups at their coverage of nordic events is amazing and they obviously have commentators that know what they are doing. And even if you cant understand what they are saying you can still see it all and not be bothered by the incompetent idiots who don't even know how to ski. They also cover other sports really well.