More of the Athlete's Perdition

Ahhhh, sweet little cupcake! You see? You try so hard to eat nothing but grapefruit and prunes and...you know...you're doing pretty good. You've been strict to your diet for like 3 whole days and your scale tells you that you're well on your way to losing a quarter of a pound...when all of a sudden you come across a big damn cupcake like the one to the right, and before you know it, the whole thing is messily devoured along with like two or three of the guy's brothers and sisters and you're back to less than square one.

My wife got me thinking of cupcakes today because she came back from the school she's been volunteering at with a funny story. Apparently somebody had brought in cupcakes for all the students, and like most poor planners, this generous soul had only brought ONE cupcake for each student (with none left over for cupcake accidents). In another display of horrendous poor planning, the gifter of cupcakes apparently SHOWED the cupcakes to the little kids and said something like, "these are for later...don't eat them!"

Duh?

That doesn't work! I mean, you can't even set a tray full of cupcakes in a room full of ADULTS and expect them not to eat them (people have tried that with me and I don't even make a pretense of not eating those damn things anymore...I mean you can't fight 10,000 years of evolution, what can I say? I'm a hunter at heart...a cupcake hunter!).

Anyway, my wife came back into the room later only to find one of the kids groaning in misery with his hands steepled over his head in remorse.

"What happened?" my wife asked.

"Miss...it was the Cupcake...the cupcakes!!! I'm sorry miss!"

This kid was all bent out of shape over this.

"I'm sorry miss...I couldn't stop myself...I don't know what came over me..."

"How many did you eat?"

"Three...four...who knows? It's all over now...ahhhhhhhh."

And the whole time he still had his head on the desk and his hands were still pressed together in prayer over his head. As is always the case, his grief transformed after a few moments.

"Why did she have to bring them? Things were going so well. I was getting through the day. I was drawing little versions of the letter 'c' in my notebook. I was coloring inside the lines...then this...THIS...had to happen. Why did you tempt me so? WHY????"

Well, fortunately, somebody got smart and went off and bought like four extra cupcakes just to make sure that the class had enough so the poor little guy didn't have to keep beating himself up.

And you know what, we cyclists feel the same guilt over a couple cupcakes...but they're still damn good (I'm not even sure the podium is as good as a cupcake when you come right down to it...and the more you ride, the more you can eat [that's the good news]).

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