Cipollini Wins a Stage!


Let me tell you all about Mario Cipollini...today's sprinters are NOTHING compared to the great Italian! I mean...Cipollini used to race with STYLE (until he signed on with that god-awful squad that decided to use a zebra print for a uniform...seriously dudes, leave your bike kit designs to the experts...mainly ME [bronze...yeah, that was a brilliant idea]).


I'm not even sure if the above original image of Cipollini (it hasn't been altered in any way...the guy had a HUGE frickin' head) is even from the Tour de France).  It looks as if Cipollini is beating every single American rider in the event all at once (and licking one of them just for added spite)!

If you get a chance to watch all the old TDF videos, it's going to be hard to miss Cipollini.  The guy was the first guy as far as I remember who used to try to do well in the prologue just so he could get the yellow jersey for the first few stages and wear a matching yellow pair of shorts.  In fact, Cipollini went on record as saying that he wanted to win a TDF stage in the yellow jersey while wearing yellow shorts, yellow shoes, yellow gloves and a yellow helmet all while riding a yellow bike.  And the frickin' guy DID it too, that's what makes it especially cool.

Back then, you used to get a FINE if you weren't wearing the same stupid shorts as the rest of your team.  I mean...what the hell is the matter with all the governing bodies of all sporting events in all the world?  Why would you FINE a guy for having a good time and being a huge draw for the international media to come and watch your event.  Who are these OLD DRIED UP IDIOTS who come up with all these idiotic rules?

Oh, and speaking of stupid rules, you know what else is a stupid rule?  NO SPONSORED SKI SUITS IN THE BIRKIE!

What a crock!  As if actually dumping money into the sport that we all love is a BAD thing.

Idiots!

Well, Cipollini definitively proved that in the end, awesomeness and coolness wins out (I think most of the guys finish in All yellow outfits these days now don't they?).  So let that be a less to just simply not ever listen to the stupid rules of any old idiots who happen to momentarily be in charge of anything that you elect to participate in.

More great life advice from CyclovaXC!!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment