ATV Police at Grandma's

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In line with Frank's truly funny and semi-inappropriate post from yesterday (it's especially funny when Frank is inappropriate...after all, everybody expects it from ME...where'd I get this bad reputation from anyway?), I thought I'd share a little story from Grandma's marathon about 2 years ago.

I was running Grandma's that year with my friend Chris.  Anyway, we made the mistake of taking the train up to the starting line rather than the buses.  By "mistake" I don't mean to say that it's not a pleasant trip by train.  The problem is that the train takes FOREVER and you start getting a little anxious as the seconds continue to tick off.

Well, in addition to being anxious, you're probably also well hydrated, so you need a bathroom.  Now, there was a bathroom on the train, but the first guy to use it utterly destroyed it (no more details...just imagine the worst possible thing ever).  So we were all waiting in desperation for the train to stop.

Runners pretty much take this all in stride.  We've got BIGGER things on our mind that potty breaks (like running a frickin' marathon).  So the train stopped and we all jumped off and ran over to a little field with some bushes.  I'd just finished my business, when these two ATV policemen came along like they were breaking up a Village People tribute party at some men's public rest area (you might have to think about that one for a second to realize what I'm saying).  Anyway, these guys were just DEAD SET on us not taking a leak in the woods before Grandma's.

Even my friend Chris (who is in law enforcement) was like...seriously?  

I mean, they're RUNNERS...they're HYDRATED FOR THE MARATHON...PEE HAPPENS!

Honestly, if you stand around witnessing a marathon, you're going to see a lot nastier stuff than somebody taking a quick potty break.  People come in from those events pretty destroyed...that's the whole point.

Wouldn't it be great if we someday lived in a society that wasn't so squeamish about bodily functions?

I"m never going to forget those short-wearing ATV cops manhandling their 4X4's and screaming at all of us to "get our pants up!" as we went scurrying away from them...but seriously, what were they going to do?  Arrest us?  We should have just stood right in front of them and intentionally peed our pants.  What could they have done...cool protest, sort of like a hunger strike or setting yourself on fire!

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