Ski Training in the Gym

When the weather is downright disagreeable like this then you might as well spend all your free time in the gym.  Of course, I don't know, maybe some of you are psyched when it's 30 degrees and the snow is melting everywhere.  Maybe that's your prime training time of year.  If it is, I'd be curious to hear from you, maybe you can enlighten me as to what's so great about the outside world right now because I'm finding it rather bleak and depressing.

The gym, on the other hand, is a different sort of animal.  Actually, now that I'm on the subject, somebody needs to reinvent the whole concept.  The old "shabby, stinky, warehouse with metallica playing" motif is just really tired.  I thought that was for losers when I was in High School and I still think it!  Wouldn't it be awesome if somebody made a, I don't know, pirate ship gymnasium?  You could bench press cannons or something instead of weights, and all the trim could be polished wood and brass?

Oh, and you know what else is annoying about the gym, the complete lack most people show for gym etiquette.  There's usually a sign on the wall that says the following things:

1.  Put the weights back where you got them (don't leave them strewn about the place).
2.  Don't leave 600 45 lb plates on the bench press for the next guy to put away (kind of a restatement of rule #1, but if the actual happenings of any gym can be taken for evidence...it needed to be said).
3.  Don't put 45 lb plates on top of 10 lb plates on the weight trees.
4.  Don't monopolize fifty machines because you're on some "special" program that you read about in FLEX magazine.
5.  Don't sit around on the machines gabbing with your friends...if you want to sit around and gab, go to the coffee shop.
6.  None of the machines are "yours" so don't throw your towel on something, leave for forty five minutes, and then throw a tissy fit when you come back and somebody else is using the item.
7.  Don't grunt or scream like you're giving birth to a baby giraffe, nobody wants to hear it.
8.  Don't jump on the best bench press machine or squat rack and then sit there for a half hour doing wrist curls with a 5 lb weight.  You can do those anywhere, so don't tie up the best machines.
9.  Just show people basic courtesy.

Actually, what's the deal with the gym anyway?  It's like this bizarre feral kingdom where everybody struts around acting like they're about to start breaking mirrors because they feel "disrespected."  Maybe it's all that protein powder.

You know, to heck with it, I was going to go into some detail about what some good ski specific exercises are, but now I can't be bothered.  The thought of the local gym just has me too depressed.  I think it's off the program now, I'm going to spend all my time in the pool.

No comments:

Post a Comment