Sasquatch Report: Jonjak's Miserable Death Stroll Through the BRC Wilderness

Representing Sasquatch Dash at Machu Picchu...Should be good for a series point right Ben?
Another Sasquatch season is in the books, so I figured I'd add my own two cents about the last event. I was out of town all summer because the extended family in Peru wants time to play with my kids (who can blame them?). However, I find that in the absence of pending Sasquatch runs, there's really no motivation to lace up the sneakers. As a result, I really haven't run since Grandma's Marathon--and I discovered an awful truth about fitness: it takes a LONG time to gain fitness, and a VERY SHORT time to lose it!

Annoyingly, I have both the Birkie Marathon and the Twin Cities Marathon looming (how do I keep getting suckered into these things?), so I am in the unenviable position of having to race my way into...let's not say "shape"...let's say "not die mode."

Last weekend I did the Rutabaga run (which we should add to our schedule as a point earner I think). Rutabaga is a 12 miler, which is a nice distance because you don't have to do a whole half marathon. I made it through that run OK and thought that I could at least survive Sasquatch 25k--otherwise known as THE HARDEST RACE EVER TO BE HELD IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY!

Now, although I didn't train seriously in Peru, it's not as if I did nothing. The above picture is from the top of Machu Picchu mountain, which turned out to be a 4 hr hike. But although hiking gives you a basic fitness, that cadence of running cannot be faked. Even at Rutabaga I felt OK physically, but the body just couldn't turn the legs over (it's a weird feeling).

The other thing about Sasquatch 25 this year (actually Sasquatch 22.3, but who's counting?) is that it was HOT! Three steps into the run, we were all instantly drenched with sweat. Jeff Wolf made a kind effort to run with me, but after about 15 steps, he couldn't take the pitiful pace and shot off down the trail like a comet in the night. My legs were like lead from the beginning. I remember back in the old days I used to feel OK in a run for the first 15 minutes or so...that was nice. But now I'm an old man, one foot in the grave, hardly able to drag my broken, battered carcass from bed in the morning, and the races start slow and go from glacial to tectonic plate speed before finally halting completely. 

Anyway, the whole field passed me and I was left alone with my thoughts--which is terrifying. I'd marked the course, so I spent the whole time worrying that everybody was getting lost in the woods. A trail always looks different when you're marking it than when it does when you're running it. But hey...the purpose of Sasquatch is to get you in shape for Gandy Marathon (Fee increase on Sept 15th, so sign up NOW!!!), so a few wrong turns are acceptable. 

On Friday night, I'd left a couple water jugs out at about mile 9.5, and I ran out of water at mile 9, so I was desperately hoping there'd still be water when I got there. I'd only put out 2 gallons though, so I thought it was 50/50...but thank goodness there was still water when I got there. It's a good thing I put water out or half the field probably would have died: you're welcome.

I lumbered into the finish line to a rousing cheer (as always) and jotted down my name on the list. I was last to drag myself in so I didn't bother to put my time down. I figured Ben would take Shawn's time of 3:25 and put Ben: 3:25+, but he went ahead and rounded up to 4 hrs! What! I was like 3:47, and it would have been 3:44 if I hadn't milked the finish by waving the Cyclova and the Sasquatch flag over my head for the final stretch (and for the cameras...which somehow missed it)!

We all then settled in to a great pot luck. The Sasquatch crew always does a nice job at the pot luck, and I always appreciate an opportunity to make a few inappropriate comments (all innuendo). Hopefully we'll get to see the whole crew up at Gandy Marathon. I'm not running that one, but I'll be splitting microphone duties with Eric T., and we should have a great day! See you all at Sasquatch 2016!

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